And Then It Hit Me

Last night I hit the wall.  I know I should have hit the sack, sheets, or hay—whichever hits the right note for you—but I decided to hit the books instead.

After all, my performance has been hit or miss lately, and I wanted to hit the ground running for a change.  I don’t need to hit it outta the park, exactly, or even to hit the jackpot or the big time, but I’d like to hit pay dirt, and maybe even hit above my weight. 

So I decided to hit the gas.  Just as I started hitting on all cylinders, though, my roommate came in, so I had to hit the brakes.

It was clear she was trying to hit on the right thing to say.  She can hit close to home but isn’t known for hitting below the belt.  I usually listen to her: she can hit the nail on the head.  We hit it off from the first.

But as she started talking, I realized that she’d been hitting the booze.  She not only hit a nerve, she hit me where it hurts the most.

I hit the roof, I admit it.  I told her that in her condition, she not only couldn’t hit the bullseye, she couldn’t even hit the side of a barn.  I suggested coldly that she hit the road before she hit rock bottom.

Hitting my stride, as a parting shot I told her not to let the door hit her in the ass on her way out.

She was hard hit, I could see that: maybe even hit for six.  I don’t think she knew what hit her.

 

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10 Comments

      1. Tom Watson

        Isabel
        Well, Houston beating the Yankees wasn’t a good thing for me, as I had a small fortune riding on them. Okay a very small fortune, but still. Okay, a bottle of wine.

        But here’s an interesting note:
        Prior to the 2014 season, the Yankees made a big free agent splash by signing Brian McCann to a five-year, $85 million deal. The catcher delivered in the power department with 69 home runs over three seasons. However, he failed to hit above .242 in any season for the Yankees, making him a disappointment overall.
        The Yankees decided to trade McCann in the offseason and found a taker in Houston, which offered two low-level pitching prospects for him. But there was an important catch: the Yankees agreed to kick in some money to help Houston pay his salary. The Yankees are paying $5.5 million to the Astros for McCann this year and next.
        Ordinarily this might not be a big deal, but it turned out to be a huge one in Game 7.
        McCann made a strong defensive play in the top of the fifth inning to keep a run off the board. Then in the bottom half of the inning, he knocked a 2-run double to make it 4-0.
        Do you think that when they traded McCann to Houston the Yankees ever envisioned him coming back to haunt them and prevent them from reaching the World Series? Probably not.

        Tom

        1. Tom Watson

          Isabel
          Don’t know if you’d have guessed this: for the World Series my small fortune is bet on the Los Angeles Dodgers, and all the odds-makers call them the favourites.

          I bear no ill will against the Astros – who could do so when they have a second baseman called Altuve who’s almost a team in himself?
          However, this is one of those times when I must reserve some right to self-interest…and a bottle of wine is as good in my gizzard as it is in my compatriot’s!
          Tom

          1. Isabel Gibson

            Tom – I’m cheering for Houston because of the hurricane, because the Red Sox (the Big Guy’s team) were knocked out, and because the Blue Jays were never in it. Sigh. As the old music hall song says, “If you can’t be near the one you love . . .”

          1. Tom Watson

            Isabel
            Tell “the Big Guy” I bear Boston Red Sox no ill, but after John Farrell pulled his “I’m going to take a hike from Toronto in order to have my dream job in Boston” stunt, I hated to see any team Farrell managed win anything.

            I was surprised he was summarily sacked so quickly after the Sox got knocked out of the playoffs but, on the other hand, he deserved it. So maybe I can drop any remaining pieces of grudge I had for the Sox and start seeing them in a more favourable light come the 2018 season…unless, of course, they’re playing the Blue Jays or the Yankees!

            I’m not anti-Astros…in some ways don’t mind seeing either team win the World Series…but still think the Dodgers will be the champeens at the end of the day.
            Tom

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