One Right Way

What I’ve come to understand
is the [sic] there’s only one right way
to cook scrambled eggs.
Paul Kita

All right then.

With the bare minimum of evocative language (allow the residual heat of the burner and pan to coax the eggs to doneness), Paul Kita tells us exactly what that singular Right Way is: What To Do (Use good eggs; Use great butter) and What Not To.

People do weird things to scrambled eggs as they cook.
They add cream. They add salt.
For some reason they add pepper or chives.
Stop all that.

If I had gone looking for the polar opposite to last week’s warm-autumnal-notes-cleaner-canvas approach to cooking I could hardly have done any better. I did not, I swear. It just happened: The universe achieving some semblance of balance by presenting opposing extremes, maybe. Now, going from Cuisine Artiste to COOKING GUY with no intervening stops could have been dangerous, but you’ll be glad to know that I survived the collision of ways-to-be-in-the-world without incurring whiplash.

Paul (I’m OK to use his first name because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t stand on or anywhere near formality) isn’t some random opinionated-about-eggs dude. He is the Food and Nutrition Editor of Men’s Health, the magazine hosting his prescriptive/dictatorial eggy instructions. He is also the author of two cook books:

I’m guessing wildly here, but I’m thinking his target demographic is not the artistes in the crowd, or any who talk like them.

This entry was posted in Language and Communication, Laughing Frequently and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to One Right Way

  1. Mary Gibson says:

    Hmmmph.

  2. JimTaylor says:

    There is only one right way to cook ANYTHING, and that’s the way my mother cooked it!

    Otherwise, my cooking guru is still Madame Benoit, because she wrote the book(s) on using a microwave.

    Jim T

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      Jim T – Noted. But let’s just keep it our secret. I’m thinking Buddy could take either or both us, two falls out of three.

  3. Keep that Guy out of my kitchen or I will salt, pepper, cheese, basil, cream, and thyme his eggs. Seriously. In a crust.

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      Laurna – Hahaha. Just think, he’s been eating scrambled eggs the one way for YEARS. That’s enough punishment.

  4. barbara carlson says:

    Break eggs in pan over medium-to-low heat — scramble gentle. Remove just BEFORE you think they are cooked. Eat immediately. They will be soft! Add salt if necessary.

  5. Ken from Kenora says:

    I fully agree with the low and slow. Many days per week I have scrambled eggs, presently three, count ’em, three Vita Free Run variety, premium but worth the expense, eggs. I do a slight shot of milk, fresh ground salt and pepper only, and of course the obligatory butter. Just. Barely. Cooked. It requires full concentration, there is nothing else going on at this point, nothing more important than the finish. But I will try his method, once. I agree with him on another point, I would never have scrambled in any restaurant.

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      Ken – Milk? Salt? Pepper? STOP ALL THAT. 🙂 I think Buddy’s cooking persona falls into the category of “often wrong, never in doubt.” In this area I figure whatever works. Like, for the cook. As for me, I’m pretty sure I overcook them.

  6. John Whitman says:

    Isabel – if you like “A Man, A Pan, A Plan”, you might also like “A Man, A Can, A Plan” by David Joachim; a copy of which I received one year for Christmas.

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      John – Hahaha. Great! A whole new area for exploration – the differences between cookbooks for guys and kids and, I guess, other specific demographics as long as they are, um, not adult women.

  7. Pingback: Redux: Various | Traditional Iconoclast

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