What do English cucumbers and French baguettes have in common, besides a certain Continental flair? They don’t fit well in standard grocery-store bags, that’s what.
Let’s take the cucumbers first. In my mind’s eye–and now in yours–two are being held uncertainly by an unfortunate clerk even now regretting the life decisions that have led him to this point. It’s too late for that, buddy: You’re up. What are you going to do?
Lay ’em flat? Nope: They’re too long to lie on the bottom of a bag, plastic or otherwise. Stand ’em up? Nope: They can’t stand upright without all-round support, which is rarely provided by the items on my shopping list and never provided by a soft-sided grocery bag. Stuff ’em in somehow? Well, that’s the default, but they stick out between the handles, making the whole bag unstable and prone to tipping its contents onto the floor of the back seat. I speak from some experience.
Baguette-bagging suffers from the same spatial and balance challenges, with the added insult that the baguette is likely to be broken or flattened in transit. The only thing sadder than a bent baguette is a crushed one.
If these were higher-value items, surely someone would have devised an appropriate package for them by this time. Something long, narrow, and shallow to fit the profile. Something sturdy enough to protect against bruising and breakage. Something sealable to prevent spillage in the back seat.
Hey. We’re talking about a box. A light cardboard box. Is this really beyond our capacity for innovation? We already have boxes for doughnuts, hardly the highest-value item in the bakery. Would it be such a stretch to adapt them to different products? I’m sure we could find uses for the Cuke-Baguette Box™ beyond cucumbers and baguettes. Many other grocery-store items would benefit from a corral-and-protect protocol. Tomatoes. Peaches. Singleton roses. Doughnuts and cupcakes? Yes! Two Feet of Treats. I can see the promotional signage now.
I’m going to go talk to that clerk, if’n he hasn’t already quit. I think I can help him win the award for Employee Suggestion of the Year. What a comeback that would be.
