National Treasure #114: Red Green

“If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

This standard closing line of the Handyman’s Corner segment illustrates the gentle humour that was characteristic of The Red Green Show (1991 – 2006), headlined by Steve Smith in the title role of Red Green. The show and Red Green live on in reruns and in touring shows in Canada and the USA.

Red is more than a creative tinkerer armed with duct tape, “the handyman’s secret weapon,” but he is that, par excellence.

In one episode, he tried to duct tape the Ontario-Quebec border as a potential solution to Quebec separatism. – Wikipedia

He is also President of Possum Lodge, a men’s group that starts its meetings while the pseudo-Latin motto, “Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati” (“When all else fails, play dead”) (but you knew that), followed by Red leading a recitation of the Man’s Prayer.

I’m a man
But I can change
If I have to
I guess

He interacts patiently with a wide range of oddballs, including these notables:

• Dalton Humphrey, owner of the local hardware store
• Winston Rothschild III, owner/operator of Rothschild Sewage and Septic Sucking Services
• Bill Green, whose disastrous exploits are presented in silent-movie format, narrated by Red
• Mike Hamar, a career criminal out on parole – although one thinks not for long, given what he gets up to
• Ranger Gord, an off-the-wall nature enthusiast who has maybe been out in the bush for a little too long

Red is also the long-suffering uncle of Harold, who is allegedly the tech-savvy member of the family and who is certainly a stereotypical nerd and then some.

In another segment, Red ties flies while giving thoughtful advice to men over 40, concluding each with “Remember, I’m pulling for you. We’re all in this together.”

The shows themselves end with Red passing along a final word of encouragement/admonishment to watchers:

“Keep your stick on the ice.”