Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

I’m cheesed off. I tried to beef up my skills to bring home more bacon, but I can’t seem to get on the gravy train. And it looked like it would be a piece of cake: as easy as pie.

I seem to be in a pickle, the soup, or a jam. I wonder why.  I might be full of beans, but don’t think I’m saucy. Indeed, I likely err on the side of being a square, or even corny.

Maybe things would go better if I stopped being a couch potato, but I’ve always felt like a fish out of water when I try to get active.  At least I don’t eat like a pig.

Have I been a turkey, do you think? Gosh, I’d hate to think that I’ve been a weiner. If so, I’ll just have to extend an olive branch and butter up anyone I’ve offended.

I may not be the apple of anyone’s eye, and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I don’t think I’m a bad egg. Some think I’m a pretty sharp cookie, even a peach or a honey. On the other hand, I hear that more people think I’m a nut. Some even say I’m crackers or bananas.  At least I don’t usually hear that I’m oily or crabby.

I sure hope I’m not toast. As hard as I try to use my noodle when the chips are down, I just can’t be as cool as a cucumber. I can’t seem to learn the art of not giving a fig if I get a knuckle sandwich.  Really, I’m quite a chicken, even though I’m not a shrimp.

And now I think I’ve milked this for all it’s worth. And maybe then some.