Words can be slippery customers: They have both denotations (literal or primary meanings, often more than one) and connotations (feelings or ideas that they suggest). It’s the connotations that trip us up (or down, usually): Words that seem to be similar can have subtle shades of meaning that make them less than fully equivalent. Walk with me as I explore one word. And for goodness sake, watch your feet.
dine (verb)
eat dinner.
“we dined at a restaurant”
similar:
have dinner
have supper
Are dining and dining-out restricted to dinner/supper, assuming those both mean the evening meal? Can’t you dine at, or dine-out for, lunch? Can’t you invite people over to dine on breakfast?
Yes, no, and certainly not, respectively. I would *never* say I was dining at, on, or out for breakfast or brunch or lunch.
dine (verb)
similar:
eat, consume
feast, banquet
take, partake of
nosh, sup
tuck into, devour, scoff
No, no, no, no, and no again. Dining carries a connotation of elegance. It is not mere eating or consuming of food. It is more refined than feasting; compared to banqueting it offers better food (No rubber chicken!) and nicer surroundings (No echoing halls with round metal-and-plywood tables for 8.) It is intentional, not absent-mindedly taking or partaking of a meal. It is formal, not casual noshing or supping. Still less is it tucking into vittles or devouring what’s in front of you or scoffing/scarfing everything in sight.
You might wonder whether I am qualified to opine on dine and I understand your skepticism. Not only can I not remember the last time I used the word aloud in any context, I’m not sure I’ve ever self-identified as dining out: The word seems a little precious. In this household, even when we were in a nice restaurant (you know, in the Before Time), we were eating out, not dining out. Even at home, in my very own dine-ing room, I do not dine. I eat.
“Why are we here?” you might also wonder. Because this past week a fast-food company offered me the opportunity to dine with another for $11.98.
I cannot say it was a lie. It’s a big world, full of wonders, and it might be possible for two people to dine, somewhere, for $11.98 (plus taxes). But in this establishment, although it is possible to eat, consume, partake, and scoff/scarf it is not possible even to tuck into, which implies altogether more enthusiasm than is either likely or appropriate. And it certainly is not possible to dine.
I say this with confidence, even though I myself never dine. I do, for goodness sake, know what the word means.
My mother-in-law, who was the food columnist for the Des Moines Register for decades, is the only person I have known who regularly and frequently used the word “dine.” She had attended sumptuous banquets staged annually by a college for chefs and had occasion to use all of the other terms for eating you mention. “Dine” carried those connotations you distinguish, but she elevated certain meals, including some she prepared and served herself, by using “dine.” By the same token, I have used the word in a faintly ironic mode, when referring to the habitually “late” suppertime of some households. Since you raise the question, I cannot recall when I last used the word “dine” in a conversation or in my writing although I clearly recall the last occasion in the Before Times when I might have said, “We dined . . . .” Perhaps the word will resurface when diners return to the outside world?
Laurna – Food columnists seem like trained and qualified users of “dine.” I had never thought about it before seeing this coupon book. It raises an interesting distinction between words we know and see as commonplace, and words we use. However we speak of it, let us all look forward to being able to do it again.
Interesting, Isabel.
Traditionally, and usually, to dine refers to eating the last meal of the day.
I see there’s another meaning entirely: to regularly entertain friends with (a humorous story or interesting piece of information). e.g. “he has been able to dine out on that story for the last 26 years.”
So…I guess…dine on! And then enjoy a postprandial time!
Tom
Tom – Excellent point. Yes, I might have used “dine” in that sense where I wouldn’t use it for eating a regular dinner.
Isabel – is it possible that you can only “dine” with someone who is not yet your partner in any formal way? Put another way, once you have a partner, is “dining” a thing of the past? Just asking for a friend. 🙂
John – I’d say that’s consistent with my connotations for dining. There’s a degree of formality not easily retained within a modern household. Downtown Abbey might have been different.
Isabel, there’s a level of society left out of your missive. The ‘dine and dash’ crowd, many of them are in a hurry to get to the gas bar so that they can steal there also.
Ken – Oh dear. You’re right. I forgot that one. I wish everyone would.
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