Right At

And she calls right at 8:00!

I’m kinda eavesdropping as one member of a small-group Zoom call quietly advises a potential member of said group about . . . what, exactly? That I start the calls on time? What in the world are the options?

Calling even a few minutes ahead of the appointed hour would be rude: Folks might not be ready to take the call. Oh, no! That’s my call! Ack! Followed by a mad dash from the microwave where a cup of tea is re-heating to the desk with the laptop.

Calling anytime after the appointed hour would also be rude: Folks who’d been ready on time would be kept waiting and wondering. Do I have the wrong time? The wrong day? Have they decided they don’t like me?

The conclusion is obvious, innit? Call at the appointed hour. Start the 8:00 call at, well, 8:00.

I’m not ridiculous about it: I make no effort to hit 8:00:00 on the nose/dot. I do hit the button that makes the simultaneous calls sometime between then and 8:00:59, so that everyone is online by 8:01. Why this practice is worthy of slightly clandestine mention is beyond me.

On time. It’s a slightly squishy concept, affected by culture, situation, and how many other people are involved. For in-person events with one or two old friends, on time means meeting whatever expectations the group has evolved, from being 10 minutes early to wandering in an hour after the supposed fact. For in-person events with large groups — meetings/concerts/plays/weddings — on time means being there, settled in, and ready to start/listen/watch/cry a few minutes before the stated time. Wandering in all chatty with your Timmie’s five minutes later is not charming: it’s inconsiderate at best, disruptive at worst.

For flights, on time means getting to the gate before they close the airplane doors, about 20 minutes before the scheduled push-back. Yet if everyone arrived that late, they’d have to redefine the standard to closer to 45 minutes, or an hour for larger airplanes.

For dinner at your Mom’s, on time might mean pretty much hitting the mark she gave you, with only a few minutes of wiggle room either way. For dinner at your friend’s house, on time might mean arriving no earlier than 10 minutes after the time he gave you and no later than 30 minutes after.

For babies being born, on time means any time within a 37-to-42 week window.

And for small-group Zoom calls? On time means whatever the person hitting the button thinks it means.

If I’d wanted to set a start time of 8:03 or 8:10, I would have. The call starts at 8:00. There’s no need to specify “right at”. That’s understood. At least, it is now.