Do I expect to be gardening hard enough to generate sweat on my forehead? Alternatively, do I foresee going through a stressful patch? Both would be uncharacteristic, but they’re all I can think of as I stand in the Home Depot looking at a bin full of work gloves, reviewing the selling points on the label.
Let’s take them one at a time. (Punctuation not as found in the original.)
Light-duty, high-dexterity. That sounds good, I guess. Better than the reverse, for sure.
Touchscreen-compatible design. That sounds even better. I actually have experienced the need for such a feature on a damnably cold January day, trying to get a photo of a bridge.
Non-slip grip. Sure. I mean, who wants a slippy grip?
Terrycloth for wiping brow. This is what has stumped me. I’m standing beside the bin trying to remember the last time I had to wipe my brow. Indeed, I’m trying to remember whether I have *ever* had to wipe my brow.
I can say with some confidence that these gloves are not targeted primarily to my demographic. I bought them anyway. They might be useful when taking phone photos in the cold, and buying them makes me feel that I am striking a blow against smart-aleck marketers who can predict my moves with far too much confidence. I will be an inexplicable blip a few standard deviations out from the average age of customers. Hah!
Of course, maybe this was their plan all along . . .
