Viewer’s Choice Awards

Our local pharmacy-cum-grocery-cum-department-store had Advent calendars for sale on Hallowe’en afternoon. I think I saw Valentine’s Day candy on the shelves around mid-December, although it might just as easily have been Easter eggs. These days there’s no time for a decent interlude. We must have something to celebrate/buy at all times. 

As in retail so it is with the media. This week has been a strange jumble of sincerely fake Christmas cheer, that-was-the-year-that-was nostalgia, and OMG-what’s-coming-next silliness. I’ve already made my Christmas wishes but with respect to these last two elements I regret that I can’t do justice to a full year, past or future — my attention span might be broad but it’s not deep — but I will share some award-winning bits from the last tenday or so, in several categories.

Best Mixed Messaging (subcategory: Interstate Billboards)

Because she is a gift,
not a given.

The illustration? Sparkly jewelry, presumably diamonds.

The advertiser? Pawn Superstore.

Best Poetry (subcategories: URLs, Interstate Billboards)

hitbyatruckcallchuck.com

 

Best Employee T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)

Bacon your dreams come true

 

Best Patron T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium parking lot)

Big Country Snake Removal

 

Most Sensible Dietary Substitution for Regular Table Salt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)

Sea salt packets

Most-Sensible New Chocolate Treat (subcategory: Candy-in-Candy)

Candy-in-candy chocolate bar

Best Bilingual Pun (subcategories: Restaurant, English/Spanish)

Pun - Ta Molly's sign

 

Best Numerology (subcategories: Social Media Sites, Knitting Sites)

Ravelry site home page

Best New Utensil (subcategories: Folding, Single-use Plastic)

And yes, the spoon on the right does have a hint of a face.

Folding spoons for tuna in foil

Best New Utensil (subcategories: Edible, Replacement for Single-use Plastic)

Forget those soggy paper straws: Starbuck’s got this.

Cookie straws

Best Movie Homage (subcategories: Unintentional, “The Princess Bride”)

I’m worried about this frenzy of impeachment votes.
– An American politician in a radio interview

Wait for it . . .

We’ve now had 3 in the last 50 years.

 

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

 

10 Comments

  1. Eric

    How about the Best Radio Quote….
    Chuck Bonniwell of Chuck & Julie Show, Denver, Colorado, Dec 19, 2019.

    In expressing dismay about the volume of news regarding the Trump impeachment…….

    “You wish for a nice school shooting to interrupt the monotony”

  2. barbara

    Very funny. A nice collection of emblematic signs of the times. O dear. Did you know Americans eat 6 times the processed savoury treats as the rest of the world? I can’t image what the candy consumption is.

    1. Isabel Gibson

      Laurna – Hahaha. I’ll tell the Big Guy I’m the perfect travel companion. Maybe except for my tendency to say,”Are we there yet?” 🙂 May you also have a wonder-filled New Year.

  3. Pingback: Not a Given – Traditional Iconoclast

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