Viewer’s Choice Awards

Our local pharmacy-cum-grocery-cum-department-store had Advent calendars for sale on Hallowe’en afternoon. I think I saw Valentine’s Day candy on the shelves around mid-December, although it might just as easily have been Easter eggs. These days there’s no time for a decent interlude. We must have something to celebrate/buy at all times. 

As in retail so it is with the media. This week has been a strange jumble of sincerely fake Christmas cheer, that-was-the-year-that-was nostalgia, and OMG-what’s-coming-next silliness. I’ve already made my Christmas wishes but with respect to these last two elements I regret that I can’t do justice to a full year, past or future — my attention span might be broad but it’s not deep — but I will share some award-winning bits from the last tenday or so, in several categories.

Best Mixed Messaging (subcategory: Interstate Billboards)

Because she is a gift,
not a given.

The illustration? Sparkly jewelry, presumably diamonds.

The advertiser? Pawn Superstore.

Best Poetry (subcategories: URLs, Interstate Billboards)

hitbyatruckcallchuck.com

 

Best Employee T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)

Bacon your dreams come true

 

Best Patron T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium parking lot)

Big Country Snake Removal

 

Most Sensible Dietary Substitution for Regular Table Salt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)

Sea salt packets

Most-Sensible New Chocolate Treat (subcategory: Candy-in-Candy)

Candy-in-candy chocolate bar

Best Bilingual Pun (subcategories: Restaurant, English/Spanish)

Pun - Ta Molly's sign

 

Best Numerology (subcategories: Social Media Sites, Knitting Sites)

Ravelry site home page

Best New Utensil (subcategories: Folding, Single-use Plastic)

And yes, the spoon on the right does have a hint of a face.

Folding spoons for tuna in foil

Best New Utensil (subcategories: Edible, Replacement for Single-use Plastic)

Forget those soggy paper straws: Starbuck’s got this.

Cookie straws

Best Movie Homage (subcategories: Unintentional, “The Princess Bride”)

I’m worried about this frenzy of impeachment votes.
– An American politician in a radio interview

Wait for it . . .

We’ve now had 3 in the last 50 years.

 

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

 

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10 Responses to Viewer’s Choice Awards

  1. Eric says:

    How about the Best Radio Quote….
    Chuck Bonniwell of Chuck & Julie Show, Denver, Colorado, Dec 19, 2019.

    In expressing dismay about the volume of news regarding the Trump impeachment…….

    “You wish for a nice school shooting to interrupt the monotony”

  2. barbara says:

    Very funny. A nice collection of emblematic signs of the times. O dear. Did you know Americans eat 6 times the processed savoury treats as the rest of the world? I can’t image what the candy consumption is.

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      Barbara – I did not know that about processed savoury treats. I did know that the more you eat the more you want. 🙂

  3. Tom Watson says:

    Signs of the times? Just remember that this year our vision will be perfect.

    Wait for it….

    2020
    Tom

  4. Your inquiring mind and quick wit must make you the perfect travel companion, Isabel. May your perfect-vision New Year be wonder-filled!

    • Isabel Gibson says:

      Laurna – Hahaha. I’ll tell the Big Guy I’m the perfect travel companion. Maybe except for my tendency to say,”Are we there yet?” 🙂 May you also have a wonder-filled New Year.

  5. Pingback: Not a Given – Traditional Iconoclast

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