Is It Gonna Blow?

My mail is here and my awaited parcel is too.  Callooh callay. And surprise surprise surprise.  Although Canada’s and America’s respective border agencies now share details of *our* ins-&-outs, it seems that tracking packages is just too tricky: Against all expectation, there is no app for that.  So, after leaving virtual breadcrumbs across several American States, my parcel disappeared from a New York distribution depot a few days ago.  Last seen, headed North.  

Now here it is, materializing out of the ether.  As I carry it inside, I’m amused by the “DO NOT BEND” warning sticker.  It would take a concerted effort to bend this corrugated cardboard wrapper.

Do Not Bend label on parcelI flip the package over to open it.  What’s this on the back?

Warnig labels on package for mailing

I laugh.

RATTLE NOISE OK

Are they reassuring me or the parcel-brigade?  Is the communication “It isn’t broken” or “It isn’t dangerous”?

Maybe it’s both: Either would be considerate.  And understandable, considering the content.

Warning stickers and package contentsAs I work through my exercise regime — heck, as I try to get out the car without grunting — it occurs to me that I might take a lesson in proactive, considerate communication.  And, at the same time, I might have found my next t-shirt.

T-shirt with warning labels inspired by mailing stickers

 

8 Comments

  1. Barbara Carlson

    Hilarious!
    Reminds me of the thick, hard-bound book in a padded enveloped being folded into my postal slot. It took months of placement under 20 lbs of other books to finally flatten, sort of. Of course the edge of the box on MY side prevented me from getting it out, so had to wait around for the postman to DIG it back out from HIS side and hand it to me, asking what it was. I don’t blame him.

    1. Isabel Gibson

      Barbara – Our community mailboxes have a separate compartment for parcels, which solves that problem. On the other hand, if they forget to leave the key, the parcel sits and rots. Literally, in the case of a shipment of iris bulbs. I’m amazed your box recovered at all.

      1. Barbara Carlson

        We now have those bigger boxes and key-thing. You mean book, not box? It eventually did!
        It was How to Make Anything — Boys’ Almanac. A remake of the first British one. It was quite darling and the hard cover thicker than normal. It must have been a really hard job bending it.

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